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Journey to see you: Poem by ~Birgu:iconBirgu:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Ballad


My Journey that started 4 years ago
Was one I would like to refrain
From the memory of a purpose I do not know
But turned to my greatest pain

I was energetic and young, that was my nature
Things around me felt boring and measly
A strong warrior of Medina, that was my stature
But still I took things easy

It was only if I remember, that at that tavern late fall
Was when the world around really did spur
At to my ears some traveller did call
Which was when I first saw her

With hair that was long and shone like the sun
She was always so shy and quiet
Everything she saw seemed only for fun
But in turn I grew to like that.

We journeyed together for two whole years
With life giving out our lesson
It was only underneath the stars,  shooting like spears
That I gave out my deepest confession

She hugged me and cried as soon as I said
Those three words, “I love you.”
“However”, she said, “If you’re lying then you’re dead
And by that I mean that we’re through”.

It was only a month later that my greatest of fears
Really did actually come true
When she suddenly disappeared I swelled up with tears
With the thought of losing you.

For the next full year I travelled alone
Travelling where the wind led
Tired of hitting stone, I thought I could atone
And kept away from the thoughts she was dead

When spring began I thought to be honest
And travelled as close to the moon
It was under those same stars that I made up my promise
My vow to see her again soon.

And so I am here, fulfilling my vows
I might not see her never
I don’t know why, what, when, where or how
But I’ll find here someday,  Even if it takes me forever.
©2008-2009 ~Birgu
:iconbirgu:

Author's Comments

No, i'm not very good am I? Still, i tried...

A poem I dug up from my day to day poem writing during April in 2007. It was for a contest done by the Alliance "DHD" on the game "Darkthrone". The topic could be about anything and although I admit I saw a lot of carefully planned poems about autumn and horses and whatknot, I'm amazed that I actually won.

(Btw, there was no prize for winning. It was just for fun. Dam XD)

Inspiration mostly came from "last Path". I wanted it to tell a story in rhyme and then, thinking about the relationships of my OC's came up with it. If you can work out which OC plays as who, then I consider you a true LP fan of ours. You are entitled to a white chocolate cookie from me :3

Comments


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:iconsamuelskanvis:
Mood: Joy ~samuelskanvis Jan 29, 2008, 10:25:39 PM
Amazed u won? u won by a miillion miles mate! that's a well good poem! (well worth the wait 4 u 2 put sumthin on again!)

--
We're gonna need a bigger boat....

Captain Falcon in the ~SuperSmashBrosCrew!
Samurai Goroh in ~TheSSBBCrew!
:iconnewki:
~Newki Mar 5, 2008, 11:31:35 AM
Great poem... might I be allowed to make one small critique though that I find fluent in your writing? (reading all your work, I like what I see...)

--
I fear nothing other than myself for nothing and no one can do unto me the harm I can.

La Vie est une chanson et le destin est la musique sur laquelle
nous écrivons les paroles à chaque instant.
:iconbirgu:
~Birgu Mar 5, 2008, 11:41:05 AM
well..my head seems very high today. Got any any criticisms then fire away.

--
Dyspraxic deviant-artist for life. Come support my artistic dreams ^^.

still waiting for requests to do...

Loadsa art, loadsa effort, but hardly any views -_-
:iconnewki:
~Newki Mar 5, 2008, 11:48:50 AM
Well, I think a lot of your work could benefit if you didn't try and force the rhymes out... Like it looks to me like you try and make the sentences and pieces that follow go according to the rhyme rather than the other way around. I mean the rhyme is good, but it's not doing anything for the work... some things just don't seem to fit... O.o

But over all other than that I think you'd be fine.

--
I fear nothing other than myself for nothing and no one can do unto me the harm I can.

La Vie est une chanson et le destin est la musique sur laquelle
nous écrivons les paroles à chaque instant.
:iconbirgu:
~Birgu Mar 5, 2008, 12:01:34 PM
Hmm, yeah. This piece was done ages ago however so it kinda can be coincidence that it's come to haunt back in the present. Usually my poem's are made up of non-rythmetic verses and instead deep comparisons which I try to make as powerful as I can *if that makes sense*. These 2 rhyming poems are the only poems I still have record of that I think are decent in some way. I still need to dig up some non-rythmetic stuff, but you have smashed a hammer onto a valid point.

Yosh, it's decided. Soon as i've finished my next art piece, i'll work on a new non-rythmetic poem. I just need to think of a title in the space from here to there. Thnx for pointing this out.

--
Dyspraxic deviant-artist for life. Come support my artistic dreams ^^.

still waiting for requests to do...

Loadsa art, loadsa effort, but hardly any views -_-
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